There are close to 5 million U.S. households that are home to pet reptiles slithering, crawling, and gazing coldly — nefariously, even — at their doting owners. And soon, we learn via a press release, a goodly portion of them may rally together to overthrow the human race.
Kidding! But there could be an awful lot of lizards and the like turning out for other reasons at a pet dispensary near you. Turns out that PETCO chain stores are organizing a “National Reptile Rally” to “educate the squeamish on why reptiles aren’t so creepy after all.” The company is summoning the guardians of Bearded Dragons, Corn Snakes, and Ball Pythons — rest assured that these are all real animals, and not pornographic epithets — to appear at PETCO sites on July 17.
“For the parent or reptile novice considering taking on a new, cold-blooded pet, some incentives include maintenance averages $10-15 per month, they make virtually no noise, and do not require exercise or an over-abundance of attention,” states the company’s press release.
I don’t know about you, but I plan to retreat to the mountains on July 17 — this Gathering of the Reptiles sounds suspicious. Ever since I saw Captain Kirk do battle with the Gorn in an old Star Trek episode — see video below — I’ve harbored a mistrust of scaled beings. But, hey — different strokes.
