For his next trick — excuse me, illusion — the Magical Mystery Phoenix will tell you all about what happens to innocent reptiles before they become your bags and belts. Except it’s not a trick. He seems dead serious. DEAD SERIOUS WARNING: The video after the jump is visually horrifying for anyone who likes animals, doesn’t like animals, or is indifferent to animals. But you really only need to play the audio in the background of your real work documents (i.e. this blog) for a few seconds to get the full effect of What the hell is this guy doing? Again!